Ladies and gentlemen and others, my name is Brian De Gousch, and I warmly welcome you all to the world premiere of my live-action documentary, M.A.D: Mutually Assured Destruction. Not to be hubristic, but it is by far the greatest film ever made.

Since living through the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Civil rights movements, walking hand-in-hand with my brothers in the Black Panthers, and cringing through countless biased films about the ‘great’ America’ and those ‘evil’ Russians, it is finally time to proverbially flip the script.

In 1962, four men aboard a Soviet submarine received a false alarm of nuclear war. Three of them voted to fire a missile. One of them did not. His name was Vasily Arkhipov and he saved the world, yet almost nobody knows his name. This is his story, the tale of a Russian hero. This is a story about a lying, evil America: a country founded on genocide and the slavery of my people. This is my story; this is my life.